


Tenderness

by SoDoRoses (FairyChess)



Series: LAOFT Extras [105]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Heavy Petting, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Making Out, a lot of making out, aftermath of abuse, decent amounts of hurt/comfort, like 'more than 30 pages' of making out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyChess/pseuds/SoDoRoses
Summary: Can “kissing your boyfriends” be considered a hobby?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Series: LAOFT Extras [105]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1365505
Comments: 47
Kudos: 528





	Tenderness

**Author's Note:**

> starts immediately after Pretty and spans a time period until the end of Flirt (so about five months, July to November)
> 
> the song is, of course, Jolene by Dolly Parton
> 
> and a big thank you to my friend Vivi (@trivia-goddess) for beta-reading and being generally PERF youre too SWEET AHHH

“Need help, Specs?”

Logan gave Roman a fond eye roll, but he took the offered hand, climbing from the lower portion of the Waller’s roof to the second. They both turned to help Patton, but Virgil scooped Patton up and climbed up one-handed before carefully setting Patton on his feet on the barely slanted roof.

“Show off,” said Roman.

Virgil gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Logan couldn’t fault Virgil for wanting to get away from the crowd – it was rather overwhelming for Logan, as well, and he had significantly more practice than Virgil did. There were many reasons Virgil stayed at the edges of revels, and they weren’t all _purely_ emotional distaste.

They sat, Virgil and Roman side by side with their knees pressed together, Patton curled sideways in Roman’s lap with his temple on Roman’s shoulder and Logan settled between Virgil’s legs, his back to Virgil’s chest. Virgil tucked his forehead to Logan’s neck and Logan nuzzled the side of his head as surreptitiously as he could.

“Better?” he said quietly.

Virgil nodded.

Patton reached across the small gap, his fingers finding Virgil’s and squeezing. Logan felt Virgil smile against his neck, before he looked up and hooked his chin over Logan’s shoulder.

Patton smiled and Logan felt like his stomach flipped over inside him. Patton was still wearing that _makeup,_ though the lipstick was fading. He looked like someone had flicked drops of sunlight to settle all over his face, or like someone had dotted him with gold leaf. It was incredibly distracting.

Roman seemed to have the same idea, reaching up to tuck some of Patton’s hair behind his ear, sighing happily.

“I owe Emile a medal,”

“Oh, really?” said Patton coyly, “I think you also said you owe him your car, and a good luck charm of his choice, and I think you offered to darn his socks-”

“Can you _blame_ me?” said Roman, “I can’t believe he said he was going to _teach_ you how to do this on the regular, Pat, my heart literally cannot take it. I shall perish of your beauty and what a way to go,”

“Oh my _goodness,_ Roman,” Patton giggled.

“You’re a vision, a knock-out, a blessing on my eyes-”

“ _Roman!”_

“How anyone functions in your presence I can’t imagine-”

Giggling shrilly, Patton braced his hand on Roman’s leg and pushed himself, smushing their faces together inelegantly before he managed to meet Roman’s lips.

Roman pressed into it firmly until they separated with a soft smack of lips. He was grinning, and Patton’s eyes were so crinkled at the corners from smiling that Logan could see the eyeliner smearing and Logan- and Logan loved them. He loved them so much some days he wondered how it was even possible.

Roman leaned down to kiss Patton again, slower. Patton’s eyes fluttered shut, melting against him and smiling into it.

Virgil pressed his temple to Logan’s, lacing the fingers of their free hands together.

Patton sat up straighter, pushing forward, and Logan heard a faint, nearly inaudible gasp at the same moment he saw a flash of tongue between their mouths.

Logan instantly felt like the temperature had risen ten degrees. He was suddenly hyper-aware that they were alone, that no one in the yard could see them up here on the roof, and that the odds of being walked in on were astonishingly low.

Slowly, Roman’s hand crept to the small of Patton’s back, pressing him forward. Patton was pliant under the direction, his back arching and his own hand creeping up Roman’s chest to cradle his jaw.

Logan felt lips on his neck - he didn’t jump, but only barely. Virgil let his mouth rest there, like a question.

Roman and Patton were panting into each other’s mouths now, and Logan’s own heart felt like it was in his throat. It was so much, almost _too_ much, but he found himself squeezing Virgil’s hand and tilting his head to give Virgil more access anyway.

Virgil got the message, and quickly – he kissed firmly at the bend of Logan’s neck and shoulder, pulling away and then again just to the side.

Patton and Roman somehow got closer still, their mouths bitten-red, sliding against each other, Virgil’s teeth grazing Logan’s shoulder, Roman’s leg shifting to brush Logan’s and somehow even _that_ felt good, _everything_ felt good and so _much-_

Patton _moaned,_ loud and sudden in the quiet, and the moment snapped like an overstretched rubber band.

Roman and Patton broke apart, wide-eyed and breathless, and Virgil froze for a moment before lifting his head to look at them. Logan felt like he’d been blindfolded and spun, like the world’s most blood-racing round of piñata.

Roman’s hand had crept under the back of Patton’s shirt at some point, and he pulled it away. Patton’s fingers slipped down Roman’s chest, setting him shivering, and Patton yanked his hand back with a sheepish expression.

“That was… nice,” Patton murmured.

Roman giggled a little hysterically. Turning to Logan and Virgil, he promptly choked on air.

“What?” said Logan, flushing in his embarrassment when his own voice came out weak and strained as if _he’d_ been doing any kissing, or indeed anything at all besides sit there and gawk.

“You, uh-”

Roman cleared his throat.

“Nice bruise, Isaac Cute-ton,”

Logan’s hand flew up to touch his own neck and- yes, there, a tender spot-

“ _Virgil,_ ” he hissed.

There was a long pause.

“… I don’t think I can say I’m sorry,” Virgil said sheepishly.

Patton crowed with laughter as Logan smacked Virgil on the knee, his face burning. Roman was snickering into Patton’s curls, and Logan couldn’t help but sigh in fond exasperation.

“Do you think Emile will let _me_ borrow make-up?” he said dryly.

Virgil pressed a quick, chaste peck to the same spot, soothing the tender feeling, and Logan could feel him grinning all the while.

—

Patton wasn’t asleep when Virgil crept into their bedroom well after dark – it was still, even after months in fairyland, pretty much impossible for Patton to sleep alone – but he wasn’t quite awake, either. It was late; Virgil had been so busy lately, what with Midsummer coming and the Seelie getting anxious as the time to give control of the forest back to the Autumns rapidly approached. Patton missed him.

He sat up a bit, bleary, making a little questioning hum.

“Hey, Pat, go back to sleep,” said Virgil gently.

“M’not asleep,” mumbled Patton, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“Yeah, I know,” said Virgil, amused, “Go _back_ to sleep,”

“I _wasn’t_ asleep,” said Patton, a little more clear this time. He plucked his glasses off the bedside table and slipped them on.

And promptly nearly swallowed his tongue.

He must have made _some_ kinda noise, because Virgil immediately looked up, pausing in what Patton sort of registered must have been him getting ready for bed, but most of Patton’s brainpower was now stuck on a loop of “Cute shirtless boyfriend, I’m super gay.”

“… Pat?” said Virgil.

“Yeah?” said Patton, in a painfully strangled voice.

Virgil frowned.

“Are you okay?”

“Yep!” said Patton, pretty sure he was very obviously ogling the lean planes of Virgil’s chest and unable to stop at all.

Virgil’s frown deepened, studying Patton – and then he must have understood, because his neck flushed red all at once.

“It- it’s hot,” he said, clearly mortified, “I usually sleep like this, so I don’t overheat, I didn’t think. I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,”

Patton made a weird noise.

“ _Hoo_ , uhhh, sweetie, I am not uncomfortable,”

Virgil stilled.

“… Oh,” he said, standing up a little straighter, “… No?”

“ _Definitely_ not,” said Patton, a little strained.

Virgil’s expression was moving from embarrassed to something more teasing, smiling across the room. Patton giggled, covering his own blush a little as Virgil moved toward the bed.

“You’re sure?” teased Virgil.

“Very sure, super sure, absolutely five-hundred percent okay with this,”

Laughing, Virgil crawled in beside him, opening his arms for Patton to scoot into. Sighing happily, Patton got comfortable against him. It was actually _really_ comfortable- it _was_ hot, and Virgil’s skin was nice and cool.

Patton frowned suddenly.

“Are _you_ gonna be comfortable?” he said, worried, “I’m a lot warmer than you…”

Virgil pecked Patton on the forehead.

“I’m fine,”

He wiggled his leg out from under the blanket.

“See? Fine,”

“But you’ll be vulnerable to under the bed monsters!” joked Patton, grinning when it made Virgil snort.

“Oh, whatever will I do,” said Virgil dryly.

Snuggling closer, Patton tilted his head back.

“Goodnight kiss?”

“Well, it _is_ tradition at this point,” said Virgil.

Tucking some hair behind Patton’s ear with one long-fingered hand, Virgil leaned down and caught Patton’s mouth with his own.

Sighing into it, Patton pressed closer until they were chest to chest, parting his lips.

Patton’s first thought was something in the general area of “Oh, nice,” and his second was “Oh _no,_ ”

Virgil’s other arm was looped under Patton’s waist, over his shirt, but Patton could feel the cool firmness of him even through the fabric. Patton felt held and safe and happy, and when his own hand rested on the cool plane of Virgil’s stomach he did _not_ feel cold in the slightest.

Patton let out a totally involuntary whimper and Virgil went still.

Not moving, Patton left his hand where it was against Virgil’s skin and their lips pressed together, waiting. Virgil’s lips moved hesitantly, and Patton’s hand twitched, his nails scraping a little.

Moving all at once, Virgil shifted over top of him, his elbow resting on the pillow beside Patton’s head and one of his legs slotting between Patton’s own.

“Good?” he murmured against Patton’s lips.

“ _Very_ good,” Patton whined, looping one arm around Virgil’s neck and dragging him down to kiss him again.

Virgil’s hand dragged a slow trail of cold fire down Patton’s side until it gripped at Patton’s thigh, hitching it up around his hip. Patton groaned and Virgil immediately pressed forward to meet Patton’s tongue with own, mapping his mouth, kissing him like he’d never wanted anything more than Patton’s lips, and Patton felt like he was made of _fireworks,_ like a struck match in a box of firecrackers-

Virgil bit down on Patton’s bottom lip, and Patton was struck with a wave of such overwhelming _want_ that his head was beginning to spin.

Tangling his fingers in Virgil’s hair, Patton tried to pull him even closer, but Virgil twitched sharply and Patton froze.

Virgil pulled back, his irises a razor-thin ring of violet around his pupils, and Patton took a steadying breath.

Virgil was- well he was shaking, actually, and he had a slightly deer-in-headlights expression that looked out of place on his features.

“You okay?” said Patton, only to blush fiercely when his voice came out so breathless it was embarrassing.

Virgil groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Virgil?”

Opening only one eye, Virgil gave him a sheepish smile.

“… It’s. A lot,” he croaked.

Frowning in worry, Patton traced his thumb over the sharpness of Virgil’s cheek and Virgil outright shuddered. Patton took his hand back.

“Do you-”

He cleared his throat, trying to sound a little more composed.

“Honey, do you need me to stop touching you?”

Virgil struggled for several seconds.

“… Sort of. Maybe. I don’t know,”

Patton hummed anxiously. Shuffling over, he pushed at Virgil’s side lightly until they were laying parallel again, taking Virgil’s hands in his and pressing a kiss to the knuckles.

“Better?”

Virgil relaxed a little.

“Yeah,” he rasped, mouth twisting unhappily, “I’m s-”

“Now hey, Mister Spider,” said Patton, poking Virgil firmly on the nose so his eyes crossed, “If you’re about to _apologize_ for telling me you were overwhelmed were gonna have some intense words,”

“It wasn’t quite… that,” said Virgil, wincing.

Patton tilted his head curiously.

Swallowing, Virgil traced the knuckles of Patton’s hand with his thumb.

“… I don’t want to scare you,”

“Not possible,” said Patton cheerfully.

Rolling his eyes fondly, Virgil pressed a kiss to Patton’s knuckles.

“I just… really didn’t want to stop kissing you,” said Virgil.

Patton tilted his head questioningly.

“I was afraid I _wouldn’t,”_ he continued softly.

“Of course you would have stopped if I’d asked,” said Patton, frowning.

“And if you _didn’t?_ ”

Letting out a little confused laugh, Patton gave him an incredulous look.

“Well, I mean- if you don’t wanna stop, and I don’t wanna stop, I don’t see-?”

“Yeah?” said Virgil, and he almost sounded frustrated, “How about dragging you into a mushroom circle and kissing you for days?”

Patton made a high noise that was _clearly not scared in the slightest –_ he took a moment to hope Virgil didn’t pick up on that, but the hope fizzled out when Virgil’s eyes went startled and round as quarters.

There was an achingly long pause, before Virgil’s tongue darted out to wet his lip and Patton pressed his face into the pillow with a frustrated whine.

“Maybe… some other time?” said Virgil softly.

“I am holding you to that,” Patton grumbled, muffled in the fabric, but he couldn’t help but smile when Virgil laughed.

—

Logan was stupid cute and Roman was dying.

It was one thing to be in the same room when they watched one of Logan’s favorite movies but it was quite another to share a couch cushion with him – for Roman to have his arms around him, Logan’s cheek pressed against Roman’s chest so Roman could _feel_ him mouthing the words along with Big Hero Six and trying not to squirm happily at his favorite parts. Especially when they were _alone_ in Roman’s house, even if they were in the living room and Roman wasn’t quite bold enough to pull anything too untoward when Mamaw could walk back in the front door any moment.

But yeah – _dying._ Absolutely dying. Roman had seen this movie nearly as many times as Logan had at this point and it was a damn good thing because he totally wasn’t watching it at all.

Logan glanced up at him briefly before looking back at the movie and rolling his eyes.

“You are missing the best part,” he muttered, the tips of his ears turning pink.

“You think they’re all the best part,” teased Roman, “And I’m not. The best part is you, as far as I’m concerned,”

Logan squeaked a little, smacking Roman very lightly on the chest and going from pink to red.

“What?” said Roman, feigning innocence.

“You _know_ what,” said Logan, strangled.

“Hmm, I truly don’t, you’ll _have_ to be more specific, Specs,”

Huffing in a way that made it clear he wasn’t _really_ annoyed, Logan squirmed around until he could level Roman with a dry look. The effect was somewhat lost by the pretty blush creeping over his face.

“Roman,” he said.

“Yes, my sweet?”

Logan’s mouth pinched disapprovingly, but his eyes were bright and shimmering with fondness. He couldn’t fool Roman.

Roman pushed some of Logan’s hair back, his fingers brushing over the tip of Logan’s ear and making him shudder. Roman grinned, and Logan was edging toward crimson.

”Something you wanna share with the class, Teach?”

“You’re _incorrigible_ ,” muttered Logan, sounding almost mutinous. He hesitated for a scant second, and then – in a move that was, honestly, a little bit sudden – he lurched forward and pressed his mouth to Roman’s.

Roman was immediately on edge – the nose bump was awkward but endearing, but the way Logan’s breath was coming a little shaky against Roman’s lips seemed more jittery than anything else.

Roman cradled Logan’s face, reining in and softening the kiss to something a little gentler. Logan sighed against his mouth, but that was kind of shaky too, and then he pulled back all at once and let his forehead fall on Roman’s chest with a frustrated huff.

“Hey,” said Roman, his pulse not quite panicked yet but _definitely_ not calm, “What’s wrong?”

Logan grumbled something indecipherable directly into the fabric of Roman’s shirt, clearly petulant.

“I don’t have super-hearing, babe, you have to work with me and my human ears here,”

Logan whined.

“ _Babe,_ ” said Roman, quickly moving much closer to panic, “Please, I- you gotta talk to me, did I hurt you?”

Logan sat bolt upright, wide-eyed.

“ _What?_ No! Of course not, _no,_ ”

Roman relaxed, and Logan sighed unhappily.

“I just- ugh,”

He rubbed his face.

“Don’t make fun of me,”

“I won’t,” said Roman immediately.

Biting his lip, Logan hesitated again, but after one more sigh, he continued.

“… Do you- think I’m… _bad_ at kissing?”

Roman stared.

Logan waited.

The corner of Roman’s mouth twitched.

Logan _scowled._

“Don’t you _dare_ , Roman, you said you _wouldn’t-_ ”

“I’m not,” said Roman, holding his hands up non-threateningly, a totally involuntary smile spreading across his face “I’m _not,_ I’m really not, I’m just-”

A very small laugh escaped him and Logan groaned, covering his face.

“ _Roman-”_

“I’m sorry!” said Roman, “I’m just- Lo, I’m gonna be honest, I’m just _fantastically_ confused. I literally cannot imagine where you got such an idea,”

Logan peeked out from between his fingers.

“Kissing you ranks, _easily,_ in my top five favorite activities,” said Roman, “It’s in a three-way tie for first place, take a _wild_ guess what it’s tied with,”

Logan was obviously trying not to smile, but he giggled against his palms, and Roman knew he was forgiven.

“Come on,” he prodded, taking Logan by the wrists and pulling his hands away from his face, “I’m not a mind-reader, sugar, you have to tell me what’s going on in that big brain of yours,”

Logan flipped his hands to take Roman’s, focusing on their fingers and avoiding Roman’s eyes. He was still bright red.

“I wanted- to kiss you,” he said haltingly.

“I figured,” teased Roman.

“Like Patton kissed you,” Logan blurted, “On the roof. Last month,”

Roman’s blood suddenly felt like it was _molten._

When he didn’t respond, Logan continued nervously.

“But it seemed- it seemed like so much _more,_ than… how it. _Usually_ works, and- I was nervous, because I haven’t- you made it look so natural and I just wasn’t- sure-”

“Specs,” said Roman, mock-seriously but still sounding a little bit like he’d been punched, “Are you asking me for kissing lessons?”

“If I was _capable_ of sarcastically saying ‘I hate you,’” said Logan waspishly, “Now would be an _excellent_ time for me to do so,”

“Oh, really?”

Logan went to snap at him again and Roman cut him off with an open-mouthed kiss to his throat, sucking firmly at his pulse. Logan’s retort died on a breathy gasp, and Roman smirked against his neck.

Slowly leaning back, Roman grinned at the startled, hungry look on Logan’s face, his lips parted and his eyes almost perfectly round.

“Still sarcastically hate me?”

“Shut up,” breathed Logan, and Roman didn’t need to be told twice.

Logan gave a startled yelp as Roman hooked an arm around his waist and dragged him forward to straddle Roman’s lap. Tugging at Logan’s hair to guide his head, Roman pulled him forward and licked into his mouth without the briefest preamble.

And Logan _melted,_ turning soft and gorgeously eager in Roman’s arm, meeting every swipe of his tongue and leaning into every press of Roman’s hands.

Normally Logan tasted sort of herby, almost savory – and did Roman love to savor him, certainly – but now the slide of his tongue against Roman’s and the soft swell of his lips were downright _floral_ , sweet and so heady they were intoxicating.

Boldly, Roman slid his hand from the small of Logan’s spine to slip in his back pocket, and Logan made a small, pitched noise into his mouth.

“Good?” mumbled Roman.

Nodding fervently, Logan pressed closer, before suddenly nipping gently at Roman’s bottom lip and rolling his hips.

Roman _groaned,_ and he felt Logan smirk coyly against his lips.

“Fucking _hell,_ Logan, I didn’t teach you that,” gasped Roman.

“I’ve been told I am a quick study,” said Logan, his voice breathless and _wrecked –_ cupping Roman’s jaw, he sat up on his knees until Roman’s head was tilted back and leaned down to kiss him again, that same flowery-sweet taste and the artful slide of his mouth making it _very clear_ that Logan was, in fact, a very fast learner.

Squeezing Logan’s backside in retaliation got Roman an absolutely _delicious_ moan in response – Roman slid his other hand under Logan’s shirt, feeling the tense and release of the muscles in Logan’s side and barely able to hear Logan’s soft hums against Roman’s lips over his own heartbeat.

“ _Roman,_ ”

His name in that tone was enough that Roman’s pulse went from a thud to a roar, and he immediately pulled back, reaching for the back of his own shirt to yank it off.

So, of course, that’s when the knob of the front door clicked and started to turn.

Roman felt like he’d been doused in ice water, and there was nothing _sexy_ about the startled look that was _now_ on Logan’s face. Roman had just enough time to register that they were hopelessly, _painfully_ rumpled, Logan’s lips pink and kiss-swollen and his own feeling not much better.

Logan scrambled off of him, yanking the blanket off the back of the couch and dragging it over both of them, before sitting against Roman’s side and putting on his best innocent expression, which was honestly pretty terrible.

Sighing in resignation, Roman turned back to the movie – which he was only _not_ completely lost on now because he’d seen it before – and also tried for innocent as Mamaw came in the door.

Roman watched her come in out of the corner of his eye, dropping her keys in the bowl by the door and hanging her cane on the little hook. She turned to look at them and froze.

“Hey, Mamaw,” said Roman cheerfully, praying she didn’t notice he was out of breath, “Do you need help carrying anything in?”

Logan waved, painfully awkward, and Roman tried not to wince.

Mamaw stared.

“Tell me,” she said flatly, “That you two were not playin’ grab-ass in the goddamn livin’ room,”

Logan pulled the blanket over his head. Mamaw burst into laughter, and Roman died a little inside.

“You _were_ , weren’t ya?”

“Kill me, please,” whined Logan from under the blankets.

“Oh, calm down,” said Mamaw, waving her hand, “I don’t even have to bleach my eyes this time, ya’ve got no idea what I’ve walked in on yer Momma and Daddy doin, Logan-”

“Oh my _god,_ stop!” exclaimed Logan, covering his ears and burrowing further into his blanket shield, “Nana, I am _begging you_ to stop talking, for the love of Marie Curie and her notebook, _please-_ ”

“Suppose I should just count myself lucky ya got all your clothes on,”

“You evil _hag_ , leave us alone!” whined Roman, patting what he was pretty sure was Logan’s head through the blanket.

“Aww, baby,” said Mamaw, tutting her tongue, “If you don’t think I’m gonna make fun a’ y'all for this till _you’re_ old and gray, ya don’t know me at all,”

Roman flipped her off, and Mamaw started cackling all over again.

—

Roman really ought to be a little more nervous about being so deep in the forest, even if he _was_ with Virgil, but Virgil couldn’t help but find his total lack of fear endearing. And a little flattering.

Roman whistled and occasionally swung their joined hands cheerfully. Virgil was hard-pressed to pay attention to what he was _supposed_ to be doing – Mother was regaining her strength steadily, if she was still silent, but Virgil should definitely be looking closer – in favor of watching his love hum his jaunty little tune and occasionally cast Virgil a breathtaking smile over his shoulder.

Pinning Virgil with yet another of those, Roman turned, grinning and mischievous.

“What are you looking at, Grim-and-Scary-Tale?”

“You,”

Roman’s grin widened, preening a little, and Virgil couldn’t help but mirror him. Lifting their joined hands, Virgil took Roman’s in both of his and pressed a kiss to the back of his palm.

Roman went from smug to soft startlingly quickly, stepping into Virgil’s space and tilting his head up to nuzzle their noses.

“I’m not really putting on much of a show at the moment,” teased Roman.

“Trust me, you are,” said Virgil quietly, smirking when Roman blushed.

Turning his head and lifting Roman’s hand, Virgil pressed a slow kiss to the fragile inner skin of Roman’s wrist.

Roman’s breath hitched.

Virgil considered for a moment, and then he looked Roman in the eyes and nibbled softly on Roman’s wrist-bone.

Roman’s eyes fluttered a little, and the noise he made was just short of a gasp.

“Well, you do make trusting you so appealing,” he said breathlessly.

Feeling a lick of cold fire in his stomach at Roman’s words, Virgil was moving before he’d even registered his own body, stalking forward and crowding Roman back up against a tree.

Roman’s back hit the trunk, and when Virgil regained some _sense_ and took in his face he stilled – Roman’s eyes were wide, round and startled. Virgil loosened his grip on Roman’s hand.

Virgil hadn’t meant to _scare him,_ he’d just- Roman was so beautiful and _trusting him_ and Virgil had lost his composure entirely, but never, never would Virgil have wanted to frighten him.

He opened his mouth to apologize and moved to release Roman’s hand completely, but then Roman wiped any possibility of him being _scared_ from Virgil’s mind by lunging and dragging Virgil down by the collar.

A startled exhale was captured in Roman’s mouth, and he shivered in Virgil’s arms. Sliding his hands around Roman’s waist, Virgil let out a low, quiet groan, swallowing the burning-hot sigh, the smoke-and-spice taste nearly making Virgil dizzy with the heat. Roman’s hands slid up to the back of Virgil’s neck, the nails dragging through the short hairs at Virgil’s nape, and Virgil almost hissed from the pleasure of it.

His nails digging in little, Roman pulled him closer until Virgil’s body was pinning him, pressed together from chest to hip.

Virgil let his own nails drag down Roman’s side until Virgil could wrap his hand around the back of Roman’s thigh and pull it up over his.

Roman whined from the back of his throat and Virgil _growled,_ biting the swell of Roman’s lip – Roman was still seemingly trying to pull them closer, before arching in Virgil’s arms and rolling their hips together, and what little control Virgil still had snapped completely.

Breaking away with hiss of frustration, Virgil bent to grab Roman under both thighs, lifting him right up off the ground until he could pin Roman to the tree again, high enough the Virgil had to tilt his head back slightly to look at him. Roman had outright _keened_ when Virgil had pulled away, but when Virgil nudged his chin up and locked his lips to the tender skin of Roman’s neck he melted, wrapping his legs around Virgil’s waist and throwing his head back.

Virgil kissed a constellation of bruises into Roman’s throat, relishing in the warm skin under his lips – Roman was gorgeously responsive, leaning into it and gasping and clutching at the back of Virgil’s neck with every new press of Virgil’s mouth.

The kisses dragged out to something languid and unbelievably hot, like banked coals. Virgil sucked harder at the skin, slower, biting down and then soothing each one with his tongue until Roman was shivering and whimpering in his arms under the attention.

Virgil finally pressed one final, lingering kiss to Roman’s pulse, before pulling back to look. Part of Virgil wondered if he might have gone overboard, but the much larger part was nearly purring at the thought that Roman was going to see this in the mirror for days and think of Virgil every time.

Panting faintly, Roman reached up and ran his thumb over Virgil’s temple. He smiled down at him, and Virgil smiled back, squeezing Roman’s thigh.

“Bet I look like I’ve been mauled,” said Roman dryly, though the effect was a little lost from the breathless quality of his voice.

Virgil smiled, sheepish.

“… Maybe a bit,” he admitted, his own voice raspy and a little wrecked.

Laughing, Roman leaned in to give Virgil a much gentler kiss, almost innocent in its softness. Virgil hummed happily, pressed their foreheads together when Roman broke the kiss, closing his eyes and breathing and basking in the warmth of him.

“Sometimes I can hardly believe you’re real,” Roman murmured, “Like I’m going to wake up one day and this will all be a wonderful dream,”

Virgil swallowed around the lump in his throat.

“Me too,”

Smiling a little sadly, Roman pecked him again. When he broke away it was slightly more genuine.

“Gonna be difficult now, what with how tender my neck is,”

His smile widened into a teasing grin.

“Want me to return the favor?”

Virgil grinned right back.

“Please do,”

—

Usually, when Roman bullied Virgil into taking him on Virgil’s excursions into the forest, Logan and Patton went on dates.

Dates with all four of them were wonderful, of course, but it was also nice to go places in pairs. Roman couldn’t be trusted even in the _vicinity_ of the ice cream shop, for example, so that was a frequent location for just-with-Patton dates.

Logan had assumed that would be what they were doing today, when Roman and Virgil left, but Patton had pouted a little and said he was too tired – that he’d rather just hang out. Together, they’d climbed up into the hayloft of the Waller’s barn.

Now, with Patton in his lap and thoroughly kissing the breath from Logan’s lungs, Logan got the feeling he had maybe been a little bit played.

In a very distant and quiet part of his mind, Logan was making sure he kept Patton firmly in his lap so Patton’s skin came in minimal contact with any of the hay, but the vast majority of his attention was taken up by the soft warmth of Patton’s palms on Logan’s face, the slide of his tongue against Logan’s and the musical, airy giggles he let out in between each clinging kiss.

One of those giggles widened into a smile too big for them to keep kissing properly, and Logan could feel himself grinning back. Patton’s eyes were shimmering with joy, and he squirmed happily in Logan’s lap and kissed the tip of his nose.

Laughing, Logan wrinkled his nose in response, shaking his head.

“You are so-” he started, but the words got caught and he trailed off.

Patton was still smiling, waiting patiently for Logan to speak.

Nothing sufficient came to him, so Logan let out a laugh and shrugged instead, reeling Patton back in to press several short kisses to Patton’s cheek.

Patton giggled again, his smile stretched so wide his eyes were crinkled at the corners and his cheeks flushed pink. He swooped in and kissed Logan on the nose once more, and then rained kisses all over his face.

The kisses slowed, dropping lower and lower on Logan’s cheek until Patton was nuzzling and softly mouthing at Logan’s neck. Everything felt sweet and slow and intoxicating, like fresh honey, and Logan turned his head to press his own soft, breathy kiss to Patton’s jaw.

Patton pulled back abruptly, and Logan stilled, worried.

But when he looked up, Patton’s eyes were all sweet golden honey too, and he had his bottom lip caught between his own teeth. Logan was struck by the sudden impulse to bite Patton’s lips for himself, but he found some restraint.

“Could I-”

Patton bit down again, harder.

“What?” said Logan.

“Could I take my shirt off?” said Patton, rushed and in one single breath.

Logan felt like someone had taken his head and scrambled everything in it.

“Yeah,” he managed to choke.

“Are you sure?” said Patton anxiously, “Because- I know we kinda did that, the one day by the river, but I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, and this- this is a little different-”

“Patton,” said Logan, strangled, “Trust me when I say I am very much enthusiastically on board with you removing your shirt right now,”

Patton blinked a little, seemingly surprised, and then he fairly beamed – he didn’t waste any more time before pulling off his top.

Logan knew that Patton was covered in freckles, from the whole of his face to the backs of his hands to every inch in between, but somehow it still made Logan nearly dizzy every time he actually _saw_ all of them, like golden constellations across Patton’s skin. The impulse to count them like spilled poppy seeds was nearly as difficult to ignore.

It was probably an extension of that impulse that made Logan lean in and press an open-mouthed kiss directly over Patton’s heart.

“ _Oh,_ ” said Patton, breathless and startled.

Logan flushed, embarrassed at his lack of any restraint _at all_ , but then Patton buried his fingers in Logan’s hair and pulled at him encouragingly.

Relaxing, Logan kissed Patton’s chest again, his hands sliding up and down Patton’s back and occasionally dipping to squeeze the swell of Patton’s side just above his jeans. Patton hummed and sighed and occasionally let out a soft moan that made Logan feel like his heart was going to leap right out of his chest. Logan pulled Patton closer to give himself access to more of Patton’s skin, kissing his chest so fervently he could feel Patton’s heartbeat under his lips. Logan sucked gently just under his collarbone.

Gasping, Patton’s hands tugged sharply at Logan’s hair, and then everything went to hell.

It was like he’d pulled a ripcord, and suddenly Logan’s blood was roaring in his ears – he _snarled,_ latching his mouth on Patton’s shoulder and sucking hard the same moment he bit down on the skin.

Patton yelped, surprised, and all the heat fled Logan’s body at once, like a doused match.

Freezing with his mouth still closed over Patton’s skin (because Logan had just _snarled like an animal_ and then fucking _bit him_ like they were in a cheap vampire novel – Logan wanted the ground to open up and swallow him), Logan felt his stomach squirming with mortification.

Patton took notice – but he didn’t shove Logan off, as he had every right to. Instead, his tight grip on Logan’s hair shifted to soothing scratches at his scalp, before he leaned back and looked down at Logan with a small frown. Logan couldn’t meet his eyes.

“Hey, sweetie, what’s up?”

Logan’s mouth pinched – how Patton was worried about _him_ he had no idea-

“I’m sorry, honey, I didn’t mean to push-” said Patton, anxious, and Logan’s gaze snapped upwards, incredulous.

“ _You’re_ sorry?” said Logan, baffled, “Why on earth are _you_ sorry?”

Patton blinked in confusion.

“For… rushing you, I thought-”

He frowned suddenly.

“Wait just a hot second, why’d you say it like _that?_ You certainly don’t have any reason to be sorry,”

Logan’s eyebrows flew up.

“You don’t think I need to apologize for _growling_ at you like a- like a feral dog and biting you like a rabid animal?”

Patton’s mouth dropped open.

And then he laughed, sharp and incredulous.

“Honey, you gotta be joking,” he said.

Logan gave Patton an equally baffled look.

Biting his lip again – Logan almost begged him to stop doing it because it was _maddeningly_ distracting – Patton squirmed under his gaze.

Laughing, softer this time but still clearly very confused, Patton gave him a sheepish smile.

“That was kind of insanely hot, actually,”

Logan immediately started sputtering.

“Well, can you _blame me?_ ” exclaimed Patton.

“But-”

“But _what?_ ” said Patton, “Baby, you can bite me all you want, frankly-”

“But it isn’t-”

Logan cut himself off abruptly.

“… Isn’t what?” said Patton.

Logan bit down on the inside of his cheek.

“Logan?”

“… I was going to say human,” Logan admitted.

Patton gave him an offended look – but after a moment, it turned oddly considering, and Logan took a moment to find _that_ mildly alarming.

Patton leaned in, not quite close enough for their lips to touch but close enough they were sharing air. He smiled mischievously, and Logan felt slightly faint.

“You know, sometimes,” said Patton quietly, “Me and Virgil’s goodnight kisses get a little out of hand,”

Logan’s eyes widened.

“And one time,” said Patton, bumping their noses, “He gave me so many little love bites that my neck was a mess, and Bell made fun of me all day-”

“ _Patton,”_ said Logan, strangled.

Ducking his head to speak against Logan’s ear, Patton nearly crooned the next words.

“I got none of my lessons done,” he said, sweet and soft, “Because it was all I could think about, was how nice he’d kissed me,”

“Patton, _please,”_ Logan whined plaintively, and Patton’s next laugh was so perfectly innocent it was like he’d flipped a switch.

He pecked Logan on the nose, grinning.

“ _So_ ,” said Patton, smiling coyly, “You don’t ever have to worry I won’t like something about you just because it’s a little… rough. Definitely not anything _fey,_ ”

He kissed Logan’s cheek this time.

“You like Virgil, don’t you? And so do I,”

Logan hesitated, still a little unsteady from Patton’s foray into narration.

“Yes, obviously,” he admitted, “I suppose I- did not exactly think that particular insecurity through,”

“Your eyes are beautiful, and your ears are downright adorable,” said Patton, and he tapped the point of one which sent a little spark down Logan’s back.

Patton’s teasing expression took on the faintest, hungry edge and Logan squeezed his hips in anticipation.

“There is… _one_ thing about the growling,”

Leaning very close again, Patton’s breath fanned over Logan’s neck in a distinctly distracting way.

“W-which is?”

Patton nipped Logan’s jaw gently.

“How do I make you do it again?”

—

“Alright, bear with me, but do you know what this song reminds me of?”

Raising one brow, Patton played with the hair at the nape of Roman’s neck and tried not to laugh.

“Dubstep played on spoons?” said Patton dryly.

Roman snorted, lifting the hand he held to his lips and kissing the fingers with a smile.

“I did say bear with me, okay-”

“Well, I am _bear-y_ interested in what you have to say,”

“Awful,” said Roman, grinning, “Absolutely terrible,”

“Don’t you mean _bear-ible,_ ”

“ _Un-_ bearable more like,”

“Ha!” said Patton brightly, “You made one, too!”

“Oh no, it’s contagious,” said Roman, putting on a very over-exaggerated serious face, “You’re going to infect the whole revel, the court will never recover from your disease of word-play,”

Patton burst into giggles and Roman beamed, swooping in to kiss Patton on the cheek.

“Okay, but seriously,” he giggled, “First you have to- alright, I don’t know if this makes sense, but first you have to sort of- learn how to listen to fae music, and you kind of do it with the… back of your brain,”

Patton gave him an incredulous look.

“… Scratch that,” said Roman sheepishly, “That didn’t make a lick of sense, did it? Okay, just listen to me,”

Humming a little, Roman leaned in, and his voice almost sounded like he was looking for something, sort of sweeping. Patton listened intently, and Roman seemed to find the note he was looking for.

“… _I’m beggin’ of you, please don’t take my man-”_

Patton lost it, because Roman was _right –_ Patton never would have made the connection himself, but now that Roman had said it he could hear it just fine. And it _was_ kind of like listening with the back of his brain, almost half-tuning the music itself out to hear the underlying melody.

“ _Right?_ ” said Roman.

“ _Jolene, Jolene-”_ Patton continued.

Roman pulled him into a more enthusiastic dance, spinning them in their little empty space by the fire and jumping in between Patton’s “ _Jolene’s_ ” to sing the actual words.

“- _Your smile is like a breath of spring, your voice is soft like summer rain-”_

Patton flushed when Roman gave him a very coy look and pulled him closer on that line, before he suddenly swept Patton up right off the ground and swung him in circles.

Squealing, Patton showered Roman’s face in kisses in response. Roman slowed the spin until he was simply holding Patton aloft, tilting his head to catch one of Patton’s kisses with his own smiling mouth.

Roman’s arms were a tight band around Patton’s back, pressing them firmly together. Patton scratched lightly at the back of Roman’s neck again and Roman gasped, leaning into it right away. Patton slipped his tongue in Roman’s mouth, which was blazing hot and wet and really crazy unbelievably good holy _moly_ -

Patton whined a little into Roman’s mouth and Roman _cursed,_ sharp, his hand slipping. Patton dropped several inches suddenly, yelping in alarm, but Roman caught him before he could fall.

Except Roman’s hand was now gripping firmly at Patton’s ass, which, _hello._

Moving his hands to grab Roman’s jaw instead of his neck, Patton pulled him into another fiery-hot kiss, groaning when Roman sighed into his mouth and squeezed him even harder.

Roman slowly let Patton slide out of his arms to stand, but he never broke the kiss, sucking Patton’s bottom lip into his mouth to worry it and then brushing Patton’s tongue teasingly with his own again, his kisses hot and sugary as molasses in summer heat.

Breaking the kiss, Roman ducked his head to kiss Patton’s neck just the way Patton loved, warm suction and little nibbles that were going to leave Patton a trail of red marks to remember him by when Patton had to go back to the fairy hill without him. Patton’s pulse jumped and skittered under Roman’s lips, his head thrown back and his breath coming in little gasps.

Roman was bent forward over Patton, kissing him so thoroughly that Patton was leaning backwards, his warm hands the only reason Patton wasn’t toppling over, and Patton _adored_ him, their chivalrous knight dipping Patton like a storybook illustration like that was thing real-life folks did, Patton loved him so, so _much-_

Patton mewled, pitched and breathless, and maybe he should be embarrassed but all he could think about was how much he wanted Roman to _keep_ kissing him, just wanted _Roman,_ so much he could hardly _stand it._

Roman’s breath stuttered at the noise, and then he went very still very suddenly. Slowly, his lips parted from Patton’s skin with a soft smack, and Patton let his eyes flutter open to look up at his boyfriend with what was probably an insanely soppy expression.

“Hmm?”

Well – that wasn’t quite the “What’s up?” Patton meant to say, but Roman seemed to understand Patton’s questioning hum.

Smiling sheepishly, Roman leaned down to peck Patton on the cheek.

“We, uh-”

He cleared his throat.

“We sort of just… necked in front of a, um… entire crowd for several minutes,”

Patton considered.

“Well, I mean-”

He shrugged hesitantly.

“I don’t… I don’t care if you don’t care?” he said, half-laughing.

Groaning in frustration, Roman shook his head as Patton’s voice turned to outright giggles, swooping down to press a warm, blushing kiss to Patton’s shoulder.

“You are going to _kill me,_ ” Roman said breathlessly.

But when Patton grabbed at his hair to pull him into another searing kiss that Roman returned with enthusiastic fervor, Patton figured he wasn’t _actually_ bothered.

—

Virgil could watch Logan do magic for hours.

He’d never been this close to a Seelie – literally or metaphorically – and besides, Virgil wasn’t sure if another Seelie would have the same effect on him anyway.

But _Logan –_ Logan was downright enchanting, and Virgil finally had an appreciation for the light and the air, his sunshine-and-spring-breeze love.

Logan had gotten it in his head he wanted to grab a sunbeam – he’d seen a few pixies do so, and now he was dead-set on it. But Virgil certainly couldn’t do that particular trick, and he had no idea how to help Logan with it.

But Logan was determined, and so Virgil had been acting as little more than a cheering section at their past few magic “lessons,” trying to encourage Logan through his clear, increasing frustration.

Another sunbeam shattered in Logan’s grip, and he made a frustrated noise.

“Hey,” said Virgil gently, reaching up to brush his knuckles across Logan’s cheek, “You’ll get it,”

“How are you so sure?” huffed Logan, “It is not as if this is a skill you have experience with,”

Smiling, Virgil shrugged.

“I know you,” he said teasingly, “You’ll try _until_ you get it – there’s no stopping you at this point,”

Logan flushed, but he leaned into Virgil’s hand a little anyway.

“Go ahead,” said Virgil softly, dropping his hand, “Try again,”

Huffing, Logan nodded, bumping Virgil’s leg with his where they were tangled up. He lifted his hand, watching the air intently.

He tried several more times, each one either too slow to catch it or shattering it on impact. There was a displeased furrow in his brow, and Virgil resisted the urge to reach out and smooth it with his thumb and risk distracting him.

Finally, Logan’s hand darted out, so quick it set the web hammock they were sitting in swaying, and then he let out a delighted laugh.

“I did it?” he said incredulously.

Virgil grinned - Logan had caught it, the shimmering beam of light caught in his delicate grip. He turned his hand over, the light twisting with him.

And then it brightened, and so did Logan himself – he looked up, stunning Virgil with a bright smile and brighter sunbeams shining directly off of him, looking so pleased with himself Virgil felt his heart melt in response, his breath catching.

It was still early morning, and not all of last night’s rain had burned off yet in the sun – Logan’s light caught on a few of the drops, and suddenly the air around them was filled with dozens of incredibly tiny rainbows.

That made Virgil’s breath outright leave him – all worries about distracting Logan evaporated under the sunshine, and Virgil reached out to cradle Logan’s face with his hand and pull him until their lips met.

Logan seemed startled, humming curiously against Virgil’s mouth. Virgil swept a thumb over Logan’s cheek, tilting his head to deepen the kiss and catch Logan’s sweet little gasp in his own mouth. Logan hummed again, soft and pleased, and the vibration of his voice under Virgil’s hand made a shudder lick it’s way up Virgil’s spine.

Virgil could feel the warmth of Logan’s caught sunbeam between them, and felt it fizzle out – Logan must have dropped it, because both his hands crept up Virgil’s chest to rest on the sides of his neck. He was warming up in Virgil’s arms, and Virgil considered opening his eyes to see how Logan shined but he remembered that freaked Logan out a little, kissing with eyes open, and he decided against it.

Instead, he placed his free hand on Logan’s chest, pushing gently but firm, until Logan seemed to understand. He let Virgil press him onto his back in the hammock and Virgil crawled over him, their lips never parting.

Virgil settled on top of Logan, the hand on Logan’s chest moving until his elbow was resting by Logan’s head. Virgil pressed forward until he could run his tongue across the roof of Logan’s mouth, and Logan’s answering groan tasted like jasmine on Virgil’s lips.

“ _Hell,_ Logan,” Virgil murmured into his mouth, “You’re so beautiful, so sweet for me. My perfect Seelie, sweet Snowmelt-”

Logan… huffed. A little puff of air that was almost… irritated, which was- definitely not a reaction Virgil was going for here.

Breaking the kiss with a soft smack, Virgil propped himself up on his elbow and looked curiously down at Logan, who was flushed and just barely frowning, but he looked more confused than anything else.

“L?” said Virgil quietly.

Logan bit his lip.

“… Why do you call me that?” he asked, incredibly quiet.

Virgil tilted his head, confused.

“… Why wouldn’t I?”

Logan’s frown deepened.

Running one hand through Virgil’s hair, he looked considering for several seconds.

“I know… well, it _seems_ fairly obvious that you mean it- affectionately,” said Logan haltingly, “I suppose I just- don’t understand the reasoning behind it,”

“Reasoning?” said Virgil incredulously, “It’s what you’re called. What you go by for the court,”

Logan looked startled.

“… Oh,” he said, a little hollow, “You don’t know,”

“Know what?”

Clearing his throat, Logan gave Virgil a brittle smile.

“It is not something I go by willingly – I have never introduced myself as ‘Snowmelt’ to anyone,” he said, “It isn’t a name, false or otherwise. It is an insult that stuck,”

Virgil felt his eyebrows fly up.

“An _insult?_ ” he said, baffled.

Logan shrugged.

“Surely you’ve noticed that barring present company the Unseelie are rather disparaging of Springs and Summers?” said Logan, “So yes, Snowmelt – an insult. Not-Winter, essentially,”

Virgil was scowling outright now, and Logan’s face turned curious.

“What did _you_ think it meant?”

Virgil felt his neck flush with warmth, and Logan’s curious expression intensified.

His mouth opening and closing several times, Virgil swallowed and tipped to the left until they were laying on their sides, facing each other. He tangled their legs together, turning the words over in his mind.

“I mean… a little bit, I understood it meant… Not-Winter,” he said quietly.

Logan waited a few seconds, and when Virgil remained silent he nudged him gently.

Virgil met his eyes, and Logan’s widened, but for once he didn’t look away.

“When I call you Snowmelt,” he croaked, “I mean that- that you are all the best parts of spring. New things. Growth. Fresh flowers,”

Logan made a slightly strangled noise, and Virgil smiled wryly.

“I mean that I feel like I’m _melting,_ ” he rasped, “Like a spring thaw. That’s you. It could never be an insult to me,”

He shook his head, swallowing.

“But I never- I never would have started using it if I knew it hurt you. I won’t do it again, L,”

Logan clenched and unclenched his fist in the chest of Virgil’s hoodie several times.

“You-”

He cleared his throat, finally managing to break Virgil’s gaze and focusing firmly on his neck, bright pink.

“…You may call me Snowmelt,” he said, so quiet it was almost inaudible.

Virgil beamed, and Logan smiled back, gentle and fond, kissing him sweetly.

Taking Logan in his arms, Virgil kissed him back, and let himself melt.

—

Roman felt like he was _boiling,_ and it didn’t make a difference at all that they were outside in November. He’d taken all of three seconds to be annoyed with himself – and Virgil, but only a little since he was so endearing – about the miscommunication with the green sweater, but now all he could think about was that he wanted as much of his boyfriends’ skin in contact with his own as possible.

And more than just skin, if he had any say in the proceedings at all.

Virgil’s mouth was leaving an almost metallic, buzzing taste against Roman’s tongue, an electrifying chill – Roman had never seen, never _felt_ Virgil so undone, panting and dragging his nails down Roman’s back and grabbing Roman’s hips where he straddled Virgil’s waist to encourage Roman to roll his hips. Gasping, Roman obliged him, and Virgil let out a hair-raising growl and broke away to bite _sharp_ at Roman’s throat.

His eyes fluttering, Roman turned to let Virgil leave as many marks as he wanted, _anything_ he wanted, and to look at Logan and Patton beside them. Patton had Logan cradled between his thighs, making a whole symphony of gorgeous noises into Logan’s mouth. Roman saw a glimpse of their tongues between them and his breath stuttered. Shifting his weight, he reached out, locking his fingers with Patton’s to hold his hand like an anchor.

Virgil sat up suddenly, and Roman had no choice but to come with him. The change in angle pushed Virgil’s hickey crusade to Roman’s chest instead of his throat, and Roman pulled away from him just long enough to strip off his shirt before leaning into Virgil’s mouth again.

Patton had followed Roman up by the grip on their hands, and Logan sat back on his knees. Logan looked downright debauched, in spite of the fact they hadn’t got any further than kissing yet. Patton squirmed out from under him and Logan leaned over to steal a kiss from Virgil for himself.

Virgil went with an enthusiasm that bordered on desperation, and fucking _hell_ were they gorgeous – the both of them pale and ethereal, looking like they were on the edge of spinning apart into beams of sun and moonlight. Sharp white teeth flashed between them, Virgil biting down on Logan’s lip and soothing it with his tongue, and Roman really needed there to be less clothes in this entire situation.

Patton came around behind him, pressing his chest against Roman’s back and nosing at the back of his neck. He kissed the skin there, just tiny little dry pecks that still made Roman’s eyes flutter, his chest flipping in anticipation.

Logan’s hands jerked, fluttering a little, and then he seemed to find some kind of resolve and started fumbling at the buttons of Virgil’s pants.

It happened all at once – one moment Roman was practically vibrating with want, and the next it was like someone had taken the pleased squirming in his stomach and tied it in a horrible, twisted knot.

He’d frozen, and Patton immediately stilled too, his lips pressed Roman’s nape.

“Roman?”

Logan and Virgil broke apart with twin gasps, their attention caught by Patton’s clearly anxious question. They were both panting, and Logan – Logan still had his hands on Virgil’s buttons.

“Are you okay?” said Patton.

Shaking his head like an etch-a-sketch, Roman managed to push the nerves down – he was being ridiculous. He wanted this. For goodness sake it had been _his idea_ , he’d literally propositioned Virgil in front of the entire fairy court. Roman had waited _weeks_ to be sure; there was absolutely no reason to get all tied up in his head _now._

“I’m fine,” he assured them, still breathless from Patton’s lips on his neck and shoulder and watching Virgil and Logan. Logan’s eyes darkened at the sound.

“Fuck, Logan you _cannot_ look at me like that and not expect me to kiss you senseless-” Roman hissed, reaching for him.

Laughing in a distinctly unsteady way, Logan went easily into Roman’s grip, opening his lips under Roman’s instantly and letting Roman map the freshwater sweetness of his mouth. Logan sighed happily, and Roman reveled in the fact that _he_ made Logan make that sound.

But- but it didn’t last. The horrible _twist_ was steadily returning, harder and harder to ignore. Roman’s blood was roaring in his ears, and not in the pleasant way at all, and his- his eyes were starting to sting-

“Shhh, Roman. Roman. Sweet prince, please look at me, Roman dear, what’s wrong?”

Roman blinked his eyes open, and Logan was close – _too_ close, Roman thought for the barest second, but then he registered Logan’s expression, worried and not aroused in the slightest, and some horrible part of Roman felt _relief._

And then he registered that Logan’s cheeks had strange, patchy red marks – he looked like he’d been scalded.

Which was how Roman realized he was crying – the salt. It had burnt Logan’s skin.

He broke.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked, “I’m so sorry, this is so _stupid,_ ”

“ _Nothing_ you feel is stupid,” said Logan fiercely, “What was it? We won’t do it again Roman, whatever it was-”

“ _Nothing!”_ exclaimed Roman, voice wet, “Nothing, _nothing’s_ \- nothing’s _wrong,_ everything’s perfect and you’re all _perfect,_ and this was literally _my idea!_ I want- I want this but my stupid idiot brain won’t let me have even _one_ nice thing-”

“Hey, mister,” said Patton softly, crawling around to Roman’s front and squeezing his hand, “You really better not be talking bad about my boyfriend. I love him very much,”

Roman’s breath escaped him in a half-sob, and Virgil tentatively stroked his hair. He looked _stricken_ , and Roman felt _awful._

“I’m sorry,” Roman repeated, his eyes spilling over until he was crying in earnest, “I thought- I thought I was ready and I was so _sure,_ but- but I’m not, I _can’t_ -”

“Roman,” said Virgil, cradling Roman’s face, impossibly gentle, “ _Beloved._ You allowed to _change your mind,”_

Roman sniffed miserably, and Virgil wiped the tears even though they must be scalding his hands just like they had Logan’s face.

“No matter what,” said Virgil, “Roman, if you asked me to never kiss you again I would love you just the same for the rest of my life,”

“Agreed,” said Logan, taking both Roman’s hands in his own, “I do not want anything _you_ don’t want Roman, ever. You certainly don’t have to feel _guilty_ for saying no,”

“But I _do_ ,” Roman admitted weakly.

Logan winced almost imperceptibly.

“… That’s okay,” said Patton gently, “However you feel’s okay, honey,”

He reached over and plucked Roman’s shirt off the ground where it had been discarded. Roman relaxed by another degree once he had it in his hands, hurriedly pulling it back on. He took another moment to be unbelievably frustrated with himself – he was still in Virgil’s _lap_ for goodness sake, and he had no desire to move. The problem was clearly not his boyfriends.

“ _But_ ,” said Patton firmly, “I do hope you know you know you really can always say no, or say yes and then change your mind, whenever you want, honey. None of us are _ever_ gonna be mad at you. And I really-”

His voice cracked, and he gave Roman a watery smile.

“And I _really_ hope one day you won’t be mad at yourself about it, too,” he continued, “And I’ll- I’ll help you as much as you want. I love you so much. I don’t want you to be hurting,”

Roman gave him an equally wet grin.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, “I do. And I love you, too, I… I love all of you so much,”

“Do you wanna cuddle?” said Patton, soothing, “Or do you wanna go home? Or we can just sit. Whatever you want, honey,”

“Cuddling, definitely,” said Roman, “No contest,”

That managed to get a laugh out of Patton and Logan. Virgil didn’t laugh, but he did smile, before wrapping his arms around Roman – slow, giving him plenty of time to pull away, but of course Roman didn’t – and pulling him down as they shuffled into a neat pile. Logan and Virgil bracketed Roman on either side, and Patton on the other side of Logan scooted up the picnic blanket until he was high enough to curve over Logan and press his cheek to Roman’s hair.

Roman watched all of them, feeling…

He wasn’t sure what he was feeling. Maybe confused; maybe wary. He searched their faces, but there was nothing angry he could find – they really _weren’t_ mad, as far as he could tell. Only worried, and the nasty twisted feeling finally relaxed almost completely.

Roman had been so sure he was ready, but he’d been wrong – and he didn’t know when that would change, and a tiny part of him wondered if it ever would.

But right now, he was pretty sure he understood that they _would_ wait for him. Maybe even forever, and that they still really wouldn’t be mad even if it was that long.

And honestly, that feeling – that unconditional, no-strings-attached love – that felt better than kissing anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me over on tumblr at @tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors


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